Football Cliches

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Heavy England shirts, absolute clinics & Club World Cup curiosity levels
Jun 11, 2025 – 55:52
Dixon is the new Lawro, Ange's logical next move & "where the dust mites dwell”
Jun 9, 2025 – 44:50
Vivaldo, the "end to end" threshold & the authenticity of Lionel Messi's pub crisps
Jun 5, 2025 – 43:28
Tom Cruise on short corners, VAR at Tesco and introducing... Dreamland
Jun 2, 2025 – 44:59
Proper clubs & "woke pressing" with the Screen Rot Podcast
May 28, 2025 – 01:30:52
The 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" game
May 26, 2025 – 52:10
Marmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signing
May 21, 2025 – 49:23
The Dean Henderson Final, Scottish police enganches & the hitman criteria
May 19, 2025 – 01:02:08
The Football Cliches Quiz XIX: Not The Top 20
May 15, 2025 – 01:49:57
The League of Farmers, metaphorical mountains & UFO-spotting Premier League managers
May 12, 2025 – 41:24
Stanley Tucci's Champions League punditry, Furniccio Villaggione & a chat with Rudi Voller
May 7, 2025 – 59:38
Perfectly-timed crowd noise, Jacko Wilsheri & managers who qualify as "glorified PE teachers”
May 6, 2025 – 47:49
Football's present-tense addiction & penalty shootout celebrations: The listeners' loves & hates
Apr 30, 2025 – 01:03:37
Accidental FIFA commentary, Newcastle's Fibonacci fate & Premier League cliche analytics
Apr 28, 2025 – 01:02:57
Pope John Gregory, Premier League clubs as supermarkets & route-one crowd noise
Apr 23, 2025 – 46:54
Fact-checking Paul Scholes, caretaker popes & Olivier Giroud's locker
Apr 21, 2025 – 56:57
The Premier League Unfinished Business XI
Apr 16, 2025 – 01:24:26
Prince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray gods
Apr 15, 2025 – 56:26
Ribblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick”
Apr 9, 2025 – 43:22
The ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about football
Apr 7, 2025 – 46:48
Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn
Apr 2, 2025 – 01:00:51
Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers
Mar 31, 2025 – 43:32
”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates
Mar 27, 2025 – 56:43
90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal striker
Mar 25, 2025 – 49:43
Woke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictions
Mar 20, 2025 – 58:46
The Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all time
Mar 18, 2025 – 46:07
Knowing your way around the Champions League, German woodwork & England's future one-cap wonders
Mar 13, 2025 – 01:07:22
The whole 11.2 yards, DNA-level Lampardian Transitions - and Keys & Gray become one
Mar 11, 2025 – 01:00:17
The Pure Discourse XI
Mar 6, 2025 – 01:24:21
How to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadium
Mar 4, 2025 – 46:24
The Football Cliches Quiz XVIII: It Was What It Was
Feb 27, 2025 – 01:53:44
Champions-elect, relegated Rishi Sunak & Premier League managers with Athletic subscriptions
Feb 25, 2025 – 48:00
How to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette: The listeners' loves & hates
Feb 20, 2025 – 56:34
Chuckling stadiums, Things-in-Chief and, finally, some actual whispering of it quietly
Feb 18, 2025 – 56:19
Crosses from the 1990s, baseball scores & the death of the managerial "war cry”
Feb 13, 2025 – 58:39
Nursery rhymes with Fletch, Clark Kent goalkeeping & under-12s away-day cauldrons
Feb 11, 2025 – 56:13
The Football Cliches Quiz XVII: The Commentators
Feb 6, 2025 – 01:30:43
The "17th chess piece", the death of the onion bag & coded messages to the board
Feb 4, 2025 – 01:01:21
Referees vs The Limelight, passages of terror & Matt 1 Hernia 0
Jan 30, 2025 – 46:32
"Football, bloody football", UK garage Postecoglou & the exact weight of a Premier League point
Jan 28, 2025 – 45:26
Cometh the quinquennium, cometh the pod
Jan 23, 2025 – 01:00:37
Has the Premier League hit peak “What a job [Manager X] is doing up/down there?”
Jan 20, 2025 – 56:28
Portrait-aspect football & England managers in the stands: The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Chloe Petts)
Jan 16, 2025 – 01:00:30
WW2 with Ray Parlour, Tamworth's global appeal & the 1863 Ballon d'Or winner
Jan 14, 2025 – 49:40
Trip-hop Liam Delap, the terminal velocity of a lob & the goal gifting crisis
Jan 9, 2025 – 44:47
The first embers of a game, heavy-metal Jonathan Pearce & the Andy Gray of lacrosse
Jan 7, 2025 – 43:53
”Listen, fair play": The Best of Football Clichés in 2024
Dec 30, 2024 – 01:28:16
The Football Cliches Quiz XVI: Career We Go - The Rematch
Dec 24, 2024 – 01:17:02
Cliches do Mesut Haaland Dicks: Adam, Charlie & Dave’s footballing loves & hates
Dec 19, 2024 – 01:10:56
The blip-to-crisis benchmark, Comedy Central defending & Australian red card music
Dec 17, 2024 – 42:27

Recent Reviews

show reviewer

The Ultimate Showdown

I have been waiting for Cliches v Ramble quiz my whole life, and it did not disappoint!! I think I’ll listen to it everyday until my sad, sad demise. Hang it in the Louvre
Match_Fit

Thank goodness it’s back

Every episode has me hoping the passersby on the street see that I have earbuds in because I’m cackling like a madman. Honestly the funniest podcast in my rotation, albeit for a rather niche audience. Highest recommend for all fans of English football.
Diesel442

5 star

No idea how to describe this show to friends
Lukadog

Welcome back!

Obviously they was a good servant to the previous lot, and they say they parted ways on good terms. And if I’m being honest, it’ll take ‘em a while to bed-in in this league, and as I said before, they will need game-time to find their feet, and obviously time will tell if they can give hundred and ten percent.
SteveJohnson

File might be messed up?

lots of skipping and an early ending for me at least. Wonderful to have the fellas back ❤️
Aanvikismyname

Like the Rolls-Royce of Podcasts

This is a podcast for the “true” football fan— a very specific fan who loves the pantomime and the drama of football as much if not more than the actual game itself. The ones who’ve consumed so much of the stupid game that they start seeing patterns and want to meet someone who does the same. It took me a few episodes to truly fall in love with this podcast. Mostly because there are so many formats and bits that take time to getting used to. Once you do, it’s brilliant.
Alexliljenquist

The best football podcast on earth

The only football podcast you need
Hit M Hi

Don’t leave me again!!

Happy happy day now that cliches are back. I love this pod- TGIC!
urban_wizard

Ecstatic!!

I am super excited that the cliche podcast back!! As an American, this show has taught me a lot of the nuances of this sport that one could only learn living where the game is best. Thank you for that. Seth, from Oklahoma.
dandylion1971

It’s like having a new podcast!

This pod is in or around my favorite. The growing pedant void that has been growing in my soul or thereabouts will once again be filled.
starboy fc

Funniest football podcast ever!!

So happy the podcast is back. Have been missing it greatly. If you love the language of football this is the podcast for you. You will laugh out loud!
Blackwallguerilla

Already the best football podcast

Still takes me 15 seconds to realize Mesut Haaland Dicks is supposed to be Desert Island Discs
CLJ810

You’re back!!!

So excited to hear the trailer—and that the band will be back together. Looking forward to the brilliance to come.
Reibeez

Legitimately one of my favorite podcasts

Was very nervous it wasn’t coming back when I didn’t see it in and around my feed when the football season started. Happy to see its return